I think I lost my voice

Sep 30

Sep 30 I think I lost my voice

I know .. I know. It’s been some time since my last blog entry. I actually began to feel guilty some time ago, as it felt like an imposter, like I was letting people down. Quite simply, it felt like I had turned my back on breast cancer. And I know that makes no damn sense at all..

Many times, I’d opened my MacBook to blog, and my fingers would not move across the keyboard. I had no words to give. I’d traded the struggles of my “before” life with new struggles that I wasn’t sure people wanted to hear about (from ME) .. struggles I didn’t feel it was fair for me to have. I’d traded in the woes of breast cancer with the same struggles that everyone has! How could I dare type a blog entry about not being upgraded on a flight to Mexico. Or being tired of zoom calls, or being exhausted of multi-tasking etc etc etc.

But then I noticed that while my blogging has significantly decreased, my patient advocacy and mentorship became to take on a life of its own. The words that would not flow from my fingertips were now coming from my mouth as I spoke with pharmaceutical companies about barriers to clinical trials for women of color. The words flowed from my mouth as I comforted women who needed hope as they began their own journeys with the disease. The words flowed from my mouth as I told my story over and over again .. to various social and civic organizations, at my place of employment .. to just about anyone who would give me a zoom microphone.

And that’s when I realized that I hadn’t lost my voice at all. The venue for using my words had only changed. There is a season for everything. This blog was a source of therapy during my journey. I expressed my feelings through written word. But maybe that season has passed? This new voice I have .. requires a different platform. These words I use to influence, to change, to advocate for others need to be heard. They require facial expressions and hand movements. This part of my journey requires spoken word.

As Breast Cancer Awareness (or Action) Month is upon us in October, I’ll continue to use my words .. and not because it’s popular to do so with your favorite pink attire on. (Hint: Do your research! Don’t buy it just because it’s pink.. Most likely, that money does not support Breast cancer research or women impacted by the disease!) But because it is my duty to continue to share my story, even if it helps just one person.