Put your best foot forward

Just days before I was scheduled to return to work, I received a request to be a keynote speaker at a Black History Month event. The event would take place on February 26, just weeks after I’d end my 409 day hiatus from the world of employment. The theme of the event was putting your best foot forward.

Interestingly enough, I’d spent the last month preparing myself to do just that. After a month long retreat in Cabo, recharging after a long Breast Cancer journey, I’d returned home and been preparing to put my best foot forward. I’d completed a 5 day raw food detox to rid my body of all the yummy goodness (*read passion fruit margaritas) I’d enjoyed in Cabo. I’d decided on a meal plan and exercise routine for the first week of work. I’d begun exchanging thoughts with a few people at work to get me up to speed on my new role. I’d skipped into my closet to select the outfit I’d wear on my first day. And I’d shared an awesome prayer with my friend Shavonne the day before I was to enter the office.

In preparation for the year 2021, I hoped to inspire others by continuing to tell my story. I committed to mentor other young women in their own journeys and to advocate for Breast cancer patients through various platforms. But I also committed to put myself first. I couldn’t do any of these things, if I didn’t look out for Tova first. And this requires balance.

So, as much as I’d already written the outline for the keynote address in my head, I knew that taking on this opportunity was like signing up for #teamtoomuch. Initially, I struggled with declining the opportunity. I thought to myself, You committed to tell your story. You prayed for a platform to inspire others to overcome their challenges and now you have it .. and you say no? After beating myself up for a few hours, I did what I do best when I don’t have the answer. I said a prayer, and let it go. I didn’t need to respond to the request immediately. I still had a few days before the young woman would expect my answer.

Like always, in due time, it became so crystal clear. I knew what I needed to do.

After returning to work (in a somewhat challenging role and during a quite challenging time in my industry), I would not have much free time. Between the transition, family time, workout schedule, studies … and the miscellaneous thing that always surfaces when you barely have enough time in a day, I’d have no time to draft and practice a keynote speech. Heck, I had no idea how I was even going to get through all of the base case items, considering I’d managed to stay fairly busy without a 8-10 hour workday. Committing to this opportunity was asking for trouble.

The very next day, I made the call. I expressed my gratitude for being considered and respectfully declined before asking her to keep me in consideration for future events. I hung up the phone and said to myself out loud with a little dance, Girl .. you did that!! I’d said yes to returning to work full time ready to tackle what I knew would be a challenging role. I’d said yes to the Tova 2.0 workout plan. I’d said yes to the family time that we’d relished while I was at home during my journey. I’d said yes to the Daniel’s fast I’d committed to annually, after the start of a new year. And I’d said no to the keynote speaking opportunity. And You know what? I felt GREAT about the decision.

Sometimes you gotta say NO to protect your YES’.

The first day of work, I arose from my bed at 5am. I’d had a good night’s rest and I was ready for my morning Peloton spin. It would be the first of five times I’d wake at 5am to exercise before heading to the office that week. The way I saw it, if Michelle Obama could wake up at 4:30 to exercise, then I could get up at 5. At 5am, I could protect my YES. I had zero control over how I’d feel at the end of a long day.

Dahki captured a photo as I left the house that morning. I got in the car and thought to myself, well, here’s goes nothing .. but not before texting Ramona to remind me which parking garage I should venture to. Listen, it’s been over a year since I was on campus. You can’t blame me for forgetting.

The normally bubbly campus was a ghost town. Covid had rendered the once lively landscape almost vacant. I found my office and smiled as I’d gotten close enough to read the message that my friends left on my office wall. It felt great to be missed and even better to be wanted.

Throughout the week, I (surprisingly) managed to maintain my energy level during the day. I wasn’t sure if it was the exercise, the new vitamins, the clean eating, or my excitement about returning to work, but after what seemed like a blink of an eye, I’d made it to the end of the week. Albeit, not without one instance where I began to drift into the land of the future, as I considered all the work that was ahead of me. But before I got too far, I took a deep breath, brought myself back to the moment, and reminded myself, I’ve been through 5 months of chemo, I got this. I couldn’t enjoy the blessing of walking upright into the office wearing a fancy pair of heels after a rigorous morning bike ride if I chose to spend that time worrying about tomorrow. When I spoke truth to that mountain in Cabo weeks before, I’d committed to live in the moment. With that reminder, I’d freed myself of unnecessary stress. I’d said YES to today and NO to worries of tomorrow.

Sometimes you gotta say NO to protect your YES.

Bathroom selfie at work. Boy I missed this mirror.

As I shut down my computer on Friday afternoon, I was so proud of myself. I’d done it! Just one year before, I was in the midst of chemo sessions and now I was a working woman again .. and wearing heels for God’s sakes! I’d taken the first step and landed on anointed ground.

In the midst of your journey .. whatever it may be, it may seem difficult to move forward. Just take the first step and keep stepping. And you don’t need a pole vault. Remember, baby steps count too! They’re still forward progress. You’re always going in the right direction as long as you put your best foot forward.
❤️ T