It’s official. I’ve graduated

What a week! Wait, no! What a month!

Today, I graduated. It’s official. I’ve been a working woman again for a full month and I have to say … I have mixed feelings. Let me explain.

Let’s start with the preface that I am extremely grateful for the life I have. And now that I have that out of the way, let me say this … I am excited about the challenges at work, but today .. Sis is tired! 😩

Let’s be clear. It’s not only work, it’s the combination of everything I wasn’t doing in 2020. All those things that I’m phasing back into my new reality are … let’s say .. exhausting. Exercise, clean eating, relationship building at work, strategizing, and on an on … on top of family, patient advocacy, and a whole winter artic freeze in the middle of Texas. So, in addition to phasing myself back into the real world as Tova 2.0, now I’m also using my friend Mark’s rules of thumb to decide which of my garden beauties succumbed to the winter storm. It’s tewwwwww much! Lol

After much discussion with myself (because I still talk to myself from time to time), I realized that it’s not the overstimulation that’s getting to me. I’m actually invigorated by the hustle. It’s the blank canvas on the horizon.

Let me explain.

Normally (pre Corona virus, pre cancer), I’d have no fewer than 10 trips planned for the year. So, now matter how busy I’d get, there was always something to look forward to. Something to break the cycle. Somewhere to recharge before returning to the grind. And now, I look at my calendar, and I see empty weekends. No school events. No birthday or anniversary trips. No travel home to Baltimore or New York. No business trips. It’s just me and the grind.

And I know that y’all have been going through this for a year now. I’m the newbie here. How have y’all managed this long?!?! You guys are the real super heroes! Lol

I guess I need to revisit my rules and figure out how to live in this moment. I became an expert at living in the moment during my trial, but this feels different somehow. Maybe I need to look forward to something other than a trip. Maybe a glass of wine or two .. which I will be able to enjoy once I’m done with this fast on Sunday! Wow, look at that.. I did it! I’m already setting mini-goals.

See what happens when you put your mind to it.. 😉

❤️ T