Sis is tired! Sis is me. I am sis.
I missed my first Spin class this morning, but the way this body is set up, it feels like I’ve taken three spin classes already this morning. So this is what body fatigue feels like huh? The doctors warned me. Annie experienced it with her loved one, and told me about it. Yvette prepared me, for she too has experienced fatigue but still … I never imagined that fatigue would feel like this. If I had to describe it, the feeling has nothing to do with sleep. Even after a full night’s rest, exhaustion greets me like … “hey girl, morning! Oh you thought you were just gonna hop out of that bed and use the bathroom. Nah, I need you to lie there for a few more minutes.” When I finally get out of the bed, with the assistance of my beloved hubby, I walk past the mirror and say to myself … Girl you got this. One step at a time. But if I’m honest, I also think to myself … you also need to wash your face, you look a mess 😳. Have you ever heard the expression “I don’t look like what I’m going through.” Well, I looked exactly like what I was going through this morning. And it wasn’t pretty.
Ok, so y’all know that I am an engineer and engineers like data. It’s just the way it is. So, I need to get some context for what I am experiencing. I text Yvette and describe the feeling as “the body weakness of 3 concurrent flus and a Zumba class.” She responds, “yep, that’s fatigue.” She tells me that it will pass, reminds me to drink fluids to help flush out the chemo. I’d bought this water bottle last year to encourage myself to drink a gallon of water each day. Guess I was ahead of the game, as this is the daily water intake stipulated by Dr. S. By the way, do you know how many times you use the restroom when you drink a gallon each day? Seriously, I should just stay in there. As soon as I sit down, I have to go again. i digress, what was I talking about again? Oh yeah, fatigue.. Well, during cancer treatment, fatigue is caused when chemotherapy destroys healthy cells in addition to the targeted cancer cells. It usually occurs as your body tries to repair the damage to healthy cells and tissue. Isn’t that something praise worthy? So you mean to tell me that all I have to do is lie here and wait for my body to rebuild itself? Oh that I can do! Where’s my coloring book that Monique sent me yesterday?
I pick up my phone and there are some wonderful messages from members of our prettysic community (because that’s what we are), sending prayers from Belgium, New York, and Utah. At this moment, I feel blessed. With everything that people have going on in their lives, they still make time to check on me. I am truly grateful.
“Your candle is in the middle top right shining as brightly as you do!“ - Anne
I move from texts to email, and there is a reminder from Meal Train. There are many people from near and far (that sounded like the introduction to Shrek) that have asked “What can I do to help out?" A meal is an awesome way to do this. If you think about it, there is a lot that goes into preparing a meal, especially dinner. You have to plan the meal, go grocery shopping, prepare the meal, and clean up after the meal. That’s a lot to ask of someone who is caring for someone else. Because as awesome as I am in the kitchen (yes! I can cook), I don’t know how many dinners will be consistently prepared by these hands in the near future. 😒 My good friend, Shavonne, organized a meal train so that dinner would be delivered during the week. Again, I’m so grateful.. Speaking of meals, Melinda texted to let me know that she was on her way over with her homemade bean soup and cornbread. You talking about good!?!? I am thankful that I have an appetite to enjoy it.
So let me recap …
I woke up this morning so God is still working
Prayers are still coming in
Meds are killing this cancer
My body is rebuilding itself
Dinner has been taken care of.
All in all, sounds like a good day to me. Remember, perspective is everything. Focus on the good. 💋
“TRUST ME AND REFUSE TO WORRY, for I am your Strength and Song. You are feeling wobbly this morning, looking at difficult times looming ahead, measuring them against your own strength. However, they are not today’s tasks—or even tomorrow’s. So leave them in the future and come home to the present, where you will find Me waiting for you. Since I am your Strength, I can empower you to handle each task as it comes. Because I am your Song, I can give you Joy as you work alongside Me.
Keep bringing your mind back to the present moment. Among all My creatures, only humans can anticipate future events. This ability is a blessing, but it becomes a curse whenever it is misused. If you use your magnificent mind to worry about tomorrow, you cloak yourself in dark unbelief. However, when the hope of heaven fills your thoughts, the Light of My Presence envelops you. Though heaven is future, it is also present tense. As you walk in the Light with Me, you have one foot on earth and one foot in heaven.”
