I’ve totally got this!

So what skills can you learn in 4 weeks?

You could learn to cook .. I mean you won’t be Julia Childs but you’ll be able to make a decent pasta dish. You could learn to code or to swim. You could even learn to drive a manual transmission (or a stick shift if you’re American) and then learn a foreign language so that you could learn expletives (or nice words) to yell at drivers in another language.

Or if you’re like me, you could be 4 weeks post reconstructive surgery and be on the cusp of feeling like yourself again.

4 weeks ago I was walking very slowly and hunched over and yesterday I drove myself to PT and today I drove myself to my new PCP to establish care as a nee patient.

The body is a marvelous vessel. I’ve seen more fluctuations and changes this year than I’d experienced ina lifetime. Some of them .. not so good. So I thought it was important to establish a baseline with a generalist to ensure that I’m headed in the right direction.

In some ways, my recovery from my latest surgery has been both easier and harder than than the former two surgeries I’ve had this summer. Easier because my range of motion and mobility were impacted minimally. So it was easier to get going again. But harder because I know that the Tova 2.0 rebuild is right around the corner. Soon I will return to work. Soon I will begin to rebuild my body. So mentally, I’ve had to be laser focused on prioritizing my recovery above everything else. Laser focused on keeping those negative thought at bay. Laser focus on keeping the right perspective .. on being the best ME that I can be each day, without comparison.

As I said, I began physical therapy last Friday. Tom, my physical therapist from my previous session, was happy to see me. At least, he pretended to be happy. We all know I’m not the typical patient. Tom learned this very early on. After a baseline evaluation, we went through some stretching techniques and he gave me 2 pages of exercises to perform at home. Twice a day!

And like a good little patient, I’ve followed his instructions and completed the exercises, twice each day. In my opinion, PT post Diep flap is not like PT that you have after chemo. What I’m experiencing now is super slow .. deep breathing, muscle contractions that I struggle to hold for 5 seconds each. It’s like I can feel my abdominal muscles strengthen .. but in excruciatingly slow motion.

Still, that doesn’t stop me from putting the work in. At home, I pull out my yoga mat (ignoring the medicine ball that mocks me in the corner .. I’ve never wanted to do a Russian twist this badly in my life btw) and slowly lower my body to the floor. These days, it takes a bit of time to get to the floor and back to my feet again. I can’t sit up from a lying position. (It’s almost as if this effort is actually one of the exercises.) Instead, I have to roll to my side and swerve myself upright. It feels really weird and inefficient. But it’s also the safest way to get the job done at this stage.

I had an appointment with my new PCP today. I was anxious to see if we’d make a connection. It’s the bedside manner for me. I need to be treated as a human being, not a number. I decided to stay within HM. I’ve had some good luck with my medical team thus far, and baby Dr. Hodges was not different. Her office is so efficient. I didn’t have to wait to be seen and the technology they used for covid precautions were on point.

Because she is within the HM umbrella, she has access to all of my medical records .. the zillions of summaries that have been logged into MyChart. And surprisingly, she actually took the time to review my records BEFORE my visit. She knew that I’d just had lab work done and she supplemented the information that she could find in the chart with outstanding lab work. Based on her review, the only test that I needed was thyroids and cholesterol. She had all of the other information by simply reading my records! What a novel idea?!!! With this, I was impressed.

She noticed that there had been a drop in my hemoglobin post surgery and she wanted to assess the situation, with the understanding that a drop in hemoglobin is common after blood loss during surgery. But instead of taking blood work today, she recommended that I wait one more month, consistent with the time it takes the bone marrow to replenish. She also noticed that I have an appt with Dr. Shahin (my oncologist/hematologist) in mid December. I’d need to return in a few weeks to have the blood work completed and then Dr. Shahin would have access to the results at my next appt.

Lastly, she asked me to return in 3 months for a physical where she’d check for cholesterol and thyroids. She wasn’t too concerned about the latter since I’ve lost 12 pounds since my surgery 4 weeks ago 🎉🎉. And if I continued on this path, my cholesterol level would be more stable in 3 months than today.

Talk about a breath of fresh air!!!

A lot has happened in 4 weeks. But I’m patient. I remind myself that baby steps still equate to progress. I’ve set some short and long term goals, with the understanding that these goals may have to be updated. My body is leading this recovery and I will give it the time that it needs.

I remind myself .. I’ve been through five months of chemo and three surgeries during a pandemic. I totally got this! And my new journal reminds me daily.

Be kind to yourself ..

❤️T