The final day of chemo ..
It’s finally here!! The day that I’ve been waiting for is finally here!
It’s May 18th, y’all. in early January, I couldn’t see this far ahead. But God is so dope.. I made it to the last scheduled day of chemo.. (And I know that this won’t be confirmed as the final day of chemo until I have my MRI in early June AND I still have to come back every day this week for the investigational drug BUT I done prayed about it and we’re gonna leave that to God. So don’t go being a a Debbie Downer, mmmkay..)
When I awoke this morning all kind of thoughts were going through my head. I was excited, and happy, and grateful .. and so many other other emotions that I don’t feel like typing but just know that your girl woke up feeling great! I jumped out of bed at 7am .. well maybe not jumped, but you know what I’m saying. Went in the bathroom, and began to get ready because I had a few things that I wanted to do before I headed out.
Shower .. check
Lidocaine .. check
Teeth maintenance .. check (don’t ask .. after years of braces and retainers, I have a whole routine)
Moisturize and dress .. check
Steroids .. check
So great, I have just enough time to read my scriptures for today and journal, make some updates to my financial portfolio, check that Sydney is good for her final week of distant learning, and refill my water bottle before it’s time to go. Doable.
On the way to the kitchen, I hear some noise outside and I remember that I scheduled my landscaper to activate my Summer garden. I thought it would be a nice touch to come home from my final Chemo day to trimmed trees and bushes, freshly planted annuals, new mulch, fertilized rose bushes, and new boxwoods (5 of them died, because I thought I had an issue with my irrigation system.. Turns out the water was turned off. smh) When I get to the kitchen Sydney is already at the computer, searching her files for this week’s activities. We chat for a bit while I pack my “infusion snacks” and grab my bag that I use to carry my gear.. As we leave, Sydney snaps a photo of us and we hop in the car to head to the hospital.
Theo has never smiled this hard in his entire life.. Guess I am not the only one excited for this day! (And YES, his eyes are open. 😀 And just ignore my chemo belly, ok.. It’s really a thing, google it! )
As we are backing out of the driveway, I see that one of the landscaping crew members have started to trim bushes on one side of our home. I decided that it might be a good idea to show him where I wanted them to plant each type of flower. (Some might say that I am a bit particular about these kind of things.. I don’t know where they would get that from. lol)
It takes about 15 minutes to explain everything because my Spanish is poor .. horrible is a better word for it. But Google translate works wonders though! 15 minutes just happens to be the same amount of time is takes to get to the hospital, so I will be a bit late this morning.. I think they will probably forgive me for being a little late on my final chemo day though, huh?
When we arrive at the hospital, I grab my mask from my bag and secure my face before leaving the car. As I am walking in the hospital, I follow all of the social distancing signs and wait to be called. When it’s my turn, the nurse acknowledges me and asks me if I have an appointment. I confirm that I am going to the Infusion center, and she says ok. Now, from everything that I have learned in life, “ok” means that she understands. It doesn’t mean come forward, especially during a pandemic where there are specific rules for how they screen patients that enter the hospital. So I was particularly suprised by her next words, and even more surprised by her condescending tone, and the matter of fact way that she slung them at me .. “Well, come over here then.” I took a few breaths before walking toward her .. In my head .. This is the last day of chemo. This is the last day of chemo . I wasn’t gonna let this woman ruin my shine. I simply told her . .”Ma’am, how was I to know that you wanted me to move forward if you didn’t direct to me do so?” I won’t go into her response, just know that she learned today. I left her with a smile and a “Bless your heart” and a “Have a nice day, you hear.” One thing I’ve learned about living down south is this .. “Bless your heart” doesn’t mean “Bless your heart.”
When I entered the Infusion center, Meagan was sitting at the front desk and I gave her the most chipper “Good morning” that I could muster .. Remember, I’m 15 minutes late. 😬 Hopefully, she doesn't notice. As usual, she greeted me in the most pleasant manner, asked to confirm my info and told me to have a seat. When it was time for me to walk back, I was weighed and directed to Suite 16. Cool, let’s get this party started!
James was my nurse today. He brought in the sterile supplies to access my port for the final time. Another milestone reached.. Whoo hoo!!!
James getting ready to access my port .. We’re praying for the final time! Did I mention that he is my fav male nurse? He is also the ONLY male nurse. haha
We chat for a bit, and I pull out my phone to show him something, and I realize that I had forgotten to do something extremely important this morning .. CONTACTS! Chile, I can’t see a thing! At that moment, I remember that I had decided to give my eyeballs a break last night. But I also remembered reading, journaling and playing with stocks this morning .. how sway?! Ohhhh, I had on my “School teacher” glasses (as Theo calls them).. I’ve got to get those contacts, if I am gonna get through today. Monday’s are my long days. I’l have to ask Theo to bring me my contacts. I have plans today! I have to write, blog, research.. I need to see! Uhh, but he can’t come in and he would have to go through all of that screening just to drop them off at the Infusion desk. He’s not gonna be happy. James, sensing my apprehension, offers to go outside and get them from the Theo when he pulls up at the front entrance.. Bam! We’ve got action!
Next, I get a visit from the nurse that manages the Investigational trial. She gives me my pre-meds and we begin to chat a bit. (Have you noticed that I chat with errrybody? 🤣) I slightly mention that I know that Dr. Shahin has to confirm that this is the last chemo treatment and she gives me this look .. the same look that I get from any of my girls (T, Shonta, Shavonne, Annie, Charisse .. pick one!) This look says, “No ma’am, this IS the last one. We are not even going there.” I am so grateful that I followed my intuition and close Houston Methodist. Sure, the medicine and the doctors are important. But your emotional state is equally important. I have been blessed to be surrounded by like-minded souls during this trial.
“When we speak God’s word over our situation, when we pray and immerse ourselves in the scripture, when we surround ourselves with other believers who partner with us in the fight, it is impossible to lose hope, even in a seemingly impossible situation”
I look up and Dr. Shahin is here for our visit. That was fast! It’s funny how quickly this happens, when you are late 🤪. We go through the usual, but not before I pepper the air with the aura of this being my last Chemo appointment. He just laughed at me, like he always does. While he understands and supports my faith, his job is to focus on the medicine and the data. He reiterates that he is very optimistic, yet he will be able to confirm this as the last treatment only after I have had an MRI in early June. Ok, ok, I get it,Dr. Shahin. Sheesh. 🙄 He asked me how I am feeling today after a tough week, last week. While confirming that all of the side effects experienced are normal, there is a knock at my door. It’s James. I will be able to see soon! Thank you Sweet baby Jesus. James wipes off my lens case before handing it to me and shuts the door.
Shifting the discussion from the past to future, Dr. Shahin begins to to talk about the path forward post chemo. He confirms that the MRI will be scheduled in the morning of June 4 and that I will meet with him later that afternoon. This is great news! I’d thought that I would have to sleep on it and get the results the next day. But I really shouldn’t have been surprised at all. This is the same doctor that made allowances in his schedule to meet a patient that he’d never met on the day that she received the news that she had Breast Cancer! Why would I think that he would make me stew on these results? He also confirmed that I would need an EKG and blood work done to document my vitals and status post treatment. But these tests won’t take place until he confirms that I don’t need additional chemo treatments.
Once we are done with our chat, I realize that this will likely be the last time that I will have one of these chats with Dr. Shahin. These meetings always serve as a “ medical pick me up” before the next cycle. While I certainly will not miss the predicament that required these chats, once I move into the care of the next doctor on my team, I’ll certainly miss seeing his smiling face and empathetic bedside manner on a routine basis. He has certainly been a God-send.
As he prepares to leave, Dr. Shahin reminds me that we need to take a photo. Seriously, dude!?!? You think you have to remind ME of that? There was no way that you were getting out of here without a photo to commemorate today’s session!
The time seems to fly during today’s session. Between responding to text and calls from my village and writing, it’s time to ready to go home. Before I know it, I am texting Theo to pick me up at 2:45. As I am waiting to receive the last drip from the chemo bag, I get a call from LT’s nurse. LT wants to see me on June 8 for an interval appt. More good news! Now, I know that everything will be done according to His plan, but I would welcome any time to chat with LT. I told y’all, she is my friend.. in me head. She might not know it, but we are like long lost friends that have met for Mimosas and brunch to catch up on old times on more than one occasion. (Let me be clear, I’m not a psycho stalker .. this is just my way of saying that I dig her personality, and if we had met under any other circumstances, I could imagine that we’d be friends. That’s all.. Please don’t report me to Security. 😬)
Chemo is done and port is flushed. In a few minutes, Theo should be here. I can’t wait to get home to see what the landscaper has done. The motion detector has been going off on our outdoor cameras, and I have had to practice extreme patience in not looking at the alerts. (I felt like a little kid doing the fruit snack challenge .. google it if you’ve never heard of it) It’s the little things that keep me going. 🙃
Welp! That’s enough excitement for one day. I appreciate all of the well wishes, positive energy, and prayers. Keep them coming.. We’re almost at the end!
FYI - On May 18, at 2:45pm I received the last drip. #claimingit
Sending love and light your way!
❤️ T
