This is war! And I’m back.. still fighting.
I didn't have a good night’s sleep last night. And it’s not because of the steroid that I was SUPPOSED to take in preparation for chemo. And I say “supposed to” because I didn’t TAKE the two pills at all! I had completely forgotten to get the prescription refilled after the last session, and didn’t have a single thought about taking the pills yesterday either. I only remembered when Dr. Shahin asked me about side effects experienced during the last treatment. You should have seen my face. I thought I had messed the whole chemo plan up for today. But Dr. Shahin reassured me that all was well and that they would just need to compensate through IV steroids today. I just needed to pick up my prescription After chemo and take the last two pills this evening. Whoo! He also cautioned that I should fully expect to be up all night as a result of the increased dosage today.. 😒 Great, you see what not following directions gets you .. Maybe I will start that 1000 piece puzzle that I ordered the other day. 😂
Prior to arriving at the infusion center, I went for my normal morning walk. (Before you ask, I always protect myself with a mask while walking outdoors.) My morning walks have become a new way to bond with Theo in the mornings. We talk about all sorts of stuff during that walk and my little short legs are no match for his longer limbs. I’ve actually taken five minutes off of my time since he joined. Or maybe I’m just walking quickly to get to my favorite part of the walk? About two weeks ago, one of my neighbors invited others to add their art to an art mural on her fence. It started off with just 2 posters. Now there are well over 100 posters. It’s a great way to understand how other people have internalized their Corona virus journey. Here are a few of my favorites below:
This morning, we had to shorten our walk to ensure that I had time to prepare for my chemo session. One of the key items included in that routine is application of Lidocaine to my port area. If I don’t apply it before my port is accessed, I become mercy to the spray solution that the nurses use at the Infusion center. I’ve had to use the spray once, and I promised myself that I’d never do that again. I just don’t think it works as effectively as the cream. I actually FEEL the needle going into the port with the spray. No thanks! That’s an experience that I can do without!
After getting dressed, Dahki drove me to the hospital. It’s good to have him home. Of course, I wish he was home on better terms. but it is what it is. We must not complain about things that we can not control. During our drive, we talked about the pandemic and how we wish more people would just stay home. Even as a Gen Xer, he understands that the longer we don’t follow social distancing practices, the longer it will take us to get back to some sense of normalcy. And as a college freshman, believe me, there is no one that wants to be out of the house more than Dahki! While many of the businesses on our route were closed, there were still a hell of a lot of cars on the road .. too many, in my opinion. “Where the heck are all of these people going?” At one point, we even waited to get through a turning signal twice because of the number of cars in the turning lane. Dahki turned to me and said, “I refuse to believe that all of these people are essential.” Meh, I concur…
He dropped me off at 9am and asked how long I thought I’d be. 3pm, maybe? Mondays are always my long days. I walked in the hospital and waited to be screened at the front entrance. I overhead an older woman yelling at one of the nurses. Apparently, she was frustrated because she didn’t know that she couldn’t bring FOUR guests to visit a patient that had been admitted over the weekend. Now, I know that common sense ain’t that common.. but what would make you think that you could bring yourself AND four guests to a hospital for a visit during a pandemic?!? I just shook my head, and proceeded to answer the screening questions. The nurse took my temperature, gave me a wrist band, and pointed me to the Infusion center on the right. After taking my weight, I was told that Suite 19 would be my home for the day. Great! Let’s get this party started.
So we go through the usual …
Credentials confirmed ✔︎
Port accessed ✔︎
Blood drawn for labs ✔︎
Waiting on the Doc ….
As I am waiting, I get a message from one of my good friends, Nikima. She’s a real one. No time for sugar-coating! She has never told me what I wanted to hear. Instead, she tells me what I need to hear. ALWAYS. She was texting to check in on me and for some reason, I was off of my game. I don’t even know why. I didn't feel bad, and I wasn’t feeling down on myself at all.. but I spoke some words that just weren't right and she called me on it. It all started when she asked me how I was feeling, and I responded:
Nikima .. always telling me what I need to hear
I could only smile at the text. I’ve know this woman since elementary school, and she has always been this way! It’s great to know that your friends have your back. 🥰
A few minutes after this exchange. Dr. Shahin arrives. Before he asks the typical questions, he first asks me how Theo was feeling. You see .. Theo had tested positive for the Corona virus about 3 weeks prior with only one symptom .. a slightly scratchy throat. Since then, he had been self quarantined at home between his office and media room. Pretty scary, huh. Thank God he only experienced a mild version of the virus. He is counting down the days to rejoin the family. However, due to my compromised immune system, he has elected to extend the suggested quarantine period by an extra week. Once out of quarantine, he will donate his plasma to Houston Methodist, which is first in the nation to try Coronavirus blood transfusion therapy. Yeah, I know.. my guy is pretty awesome ☺️.
Once Dr. Shahin is satisfied that Theo is feeling ok, he shifts his questions back to me. He asks me about my side effects. I told him that I’d experienced significant fluid retention and endured some abdominal pain for a week or so. I also loss sense of taste for about 10 days. This are all new side effects that from Taxol. I didn’t experience these over the first two months during my A/C regimen. He reminds me that these are all expected, and I grimace a bit. Just because they are expected doesn’t mean that I’m enjoying them. He laughs. Satisfied with my feedback, Dr. Shahin clears me for Taxol Treatment 2 of 4 (Chemo treatment #6), and heads out to consult with his next patient .. but not before checking up on the blog and posing for our photo. Before he leaves, he also reminds me that it’s time for my next ultrasound to see how the little mutant under my right boob is responding to Taxol and the supplemental medication. I’ll need to schedule that before I have my next treatment in 3 weeks.
Chemo treatment #6
Just before the photo, I realized that I can’t put up fingers and take the photo lol
So now I wait for my meds to be released. Hmm.. what shall I do to pass the time ?
✔︎ Read (a few scriptures that I marked for today’s treatment, a book that I have been reading for 2 weeks .. don’t judge me! I just can’t seem to get through it, email, internet sites..)
✔︎ Blog (hey guys, I’m writing you!)
✔︎ Invest (research stocks and update personal portfolio)
✔︎ Listen to music (via Sirius xm, which is free until May 15 by the way. You’re welcome!)
✔︎ Connect (by phone and text to those that called today to check on me.. thank you!)
✔︎ Social media (Ok, I’m sick of that.. tired of people complaining about being inside like this isn’t the 3rd week of this.. I mean it’s not like it’s a surprise)
I try not to check my watch often.. it just makes the time go in reverse. But at some point, I give up. How much time is left? Great .. still a little more than an hour to go. 😒 I get a message on my Apple Watch, letting me know that my prescription is ready for pickup. Immediately, I text Dahki and ask him to remind me to pick it up on the way home. Chemo brain is real y’all. I swear I forget everything! I also tell him that I will be ready in an hour. I fiddle around on the internet for a bit, and it’s time to text Dahki for pickup.
Great! I made it through.. and only three more treatments to go this week. The infusion center is closed on Good Friday, so I have a short week. Look at God!
I can’t believe it’s already April and that I am this far along on my journey. In January, there was so much ahead of me. But I am moving through it. Once this is all over, I will be so much more of a force to be reckoned with. And although I am not done yet, I have already claimed the following: After God has brought me through this, there is absolutely nothing that I can not get through.. absolutely nothing that I can’t conquer. I am so excited about life.. There is still so much to do. Will you join me in living your life just as fearlessly as I intend to?
❤️ T
“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again. ”
