My feelings are valid.

Ever been so tired and discover that sleep wasn’t the answer? That’s how I feel tonight. I returned home from surgery exhausted. And couldn’t sleep. What was supposed to be a simple surgery ended up being a little more than that. I had to have my original incision reopened and expander exchanged in addition to the wound being cut out and stitched … oh yeah I left the hospital with a drain. Man I’m beat.

I thought I was ok until I got home and had to be assisted from my front door down the long hall way to my bedroom. And then there was the step stool that I needed In order to climb into my bed. All of this was too familiar. It felt like The day when I care home from my mastectomy all over again. Where had my progress gone? Am I going backwards? And then came the tears. I couldn’t stop crying. I started feeling sorry for myself for about 5 minutes and then something happened. Or better yet, SOMEONE happened 🙌🏽

While it may not be my plan, It’s His plan. And I don’t need to understand His plan. Let His will be done. Not let my will be done.

But let me also say this because someone needs to hear this: YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID! You have a right to feel the way you feel. Whether you’re sad, angry, disappointed … This is a journey. Everyday won’t be sunny. Some days are crappy. And when you have crappy days, sometimes you have crappy feelings. Feel those feelings and then get on with it. Feeling sorry for yourself never solved any problems. So get up!

I may not be where I want to be but I am exactly where He needs me to be. And I will always rely on that as I continue on this journey.

I’m ok guys, really I am but I thought that it was important to share this .. for that one person who needs to see that I am vulnerable too. I also have bad days. But I don’t dwell in them. Victory doesn’t live there, and neither do I.

❤️ T

P.s. I did the whole silver lining thing too. I KNOW that it’s a good thing that I had this surgery today.