So how does one prepare to have her breasts removed?
Moving on has never been hard for me. I’ve moved on in relationships, from schools, from location to location … but this time moving on feels different. Sure, I may be moving on from a difficult experience. But I was familiar with that difficult experience. I knew what to expect (sort of). I knew who to call on for help. I knew what wouldn’t work. And now, I am moving on to the unfamiliar. It’s a bit scary, if I’m totally honest.
June 16 - that is the day that I’m scheduled to have a bilateral mastectomy. And I am completely overwhelmed. I am trying to mentally prepare and not stress .. at the same time. When I get like this, there is only one thing that can help me. Data! But all data isn’t created equal. There is so much information out there. And a lot of it is (of course) tainted with someone else’s perspective. Sort of like what I am doing here, ironically enough. So I stumbled upon a few blogs .. Bad decision. Blogs can be dangerous. You have to find one that works for you. We are all so different. Our medical trials are different. Our bodies are different. Our spirits are different. And the two blogs that I found .. well, they just didn’t work for me. I found them to be extremely negative, and that just ain’t me. Nothing went right in these women’s lives. Their dog died, the birds stopped singing, the flowers stopped growing. Listen, I’m for being real, but is everything bad? Is there no bright-side? I needed balance, but I also didn't have the energy to find the “right” blog. So I decided to close the MacBook and wait until I had my appointments with my surgical team over the next few days instead.
(Friday, June 5) Today, I met with my plastic surgeon, Dr.Shuck. He is responsible for my reconstruction surgery. This was my second appointment with him. This one served as my pre-op appointment. We went over the plan for surgery again. He would insert expanders (place-holders for my boobs) after my mastectomy is complete. The entire surgery would take about 3-5 hours. I know what you are thinking .. that sounds like a big range. Yeah, I thought the same thing. But even at the max, 5 hours doesn’t seem like a lot of time to completely transform your physical being.
On the one hand, I could drive to New Orleans in 5 hours .. on a good day. I could also prep and cook a full Thanksgiving dinner. But 5 hours is also only enough time to binge watch half a season of The Ozarks on Netflix (If you haven’t watched it, I highly recommend). And in the same amount of time, I would go from Tova with the boobs that she’s known and loved for 30 years to Boobless Tova. I felt like I should be planning a memorial. This is a big deal! Why am I just realizing how big a deal this is!!!?
Once we talked through the entire procedure, risks, and follow up plan, Dr. Shuck asked me if I had any additional questions. Ha! Do I have any questions?!!! Clearly, he’s just getting to know me. Of course, I had questions. How would I sleep? When could I shower? What are my restrictions? So many questions, but of course he had answers to them all. Remember that feeling of being overwhelmed .. well, it wasn’t subsiding. Dr. Shuck had answers. Yes, he did. But the answers weren’t what I was used to. What I wanted to hear was:
Oh, use this thing that you already have at home not help you after surgery ..
Just listen to your body ..
Drink lots of water and get some rest ..
Nope, I actually have to do something to prepare for recovery. And y’all know how I am. I like to plan. I like to be prepared. But I didn’t feel prepared at all.
At all!
So that evening, I did what I do best I started digging .. again. But the data never stopped. It just kept coming at me, like a thousand tennis balls in Serena’s machine she uses to practice at home. But I wasn’t swinging fast enough. As soon as I got comfortable with a particular concept, there was something else to get familiar with. There is just so much information out there. Too much, in fact. All I wanted to know is what I needed to have at home to get me through recovery. Surely there has to be a list .. Of course there was a list. There were 100 lists! With 100 different types of pillows and drain gadgets and post surgery bras and on and on and on. I felt like a new mother trying to figure out what to add to her baby registry. “Does this do the same thing as that?”, “Am I really gonna use this?”, “Why does this thing cost this much?” I needed answers ..
SIRI .. what do I really need to recover from a mastectomy?
SIRI .. which of these items is complete garbage?
Speaking of registry, do you know that there is a such thing as a Mastectomy Registry? Yep, true story! I was gobsmacked when I read this. I’ve heard of wedding registries and baby registries, but never mastectomy registries. But I guess it makes sense. Some women may not be able to afford all of the gadgets that are recommended. Listen a really good mastectomy bra could run your almost a hundred bucks, and you’re supposed to wear it 24 hours a day for some period of time. Ya might need more than one. So if you know of someone that is getting a mastectomy, give her a gift card. Remember: pillows, drains, and bras. Those things could add up!
As I stated, one of my questions for Dr. Shuck was how I should sleep after my surgery. First, he asked me how I naturally slept and I answered “on my side” but Theo yelled out “all over the bed”. 🙄 (Next time, he’ll wait in the car.) Based on “our” responses, I was given two options .. a Recliner or a Pillow fort. I would need to sleep on my back at an angle so that fluid drains properly. And I absolutely could not roll on my side as I could potentially bust a stitch or impact a drain. Well, I don’t own a recliner and it’s not so easy to get one delivered in a week’s time these days . Soooooo I opted for the pillow fort instead. Ok, so wait .. what the heck is a pillow fort?
THIS is a pillow fort ! It’s a real thing. You can actually google the correct way to build your pillow fort post mastectomy. And it looks m like a dang fort. Actually, it looks pretty damn comfy. As it should, since it’s comprised of about ten pillows.
PILLOW FORT - Stock photo (I don’t know this chic)
The main pillow being a pregnancy pillow! I’ve never used one of these during either of my two pregnancies .. funny that I need one now! If you’ve never seen one, there are a few versions. They are HUGE and are shaped like a U. Well mine is; there is another version that’s shaped like a C. You can use it multiple ways but I’ll be using mine to ensure that I don’t roll onto my side. Doctor’s orders!
HUGE pregnancy pillow to be used during recovery
Turns out .. baby stores don’t just have these things lying around waiting for a customer to order them for curbside pick-up. You have to order online and receive via delivery. Well if any of you have ordered anything lately, you may have noticed a slightly longer delivery window. After comparing multiple sites for the shortest delivery time frame, I finally decided on Bed Bath and Beyond. I found one of their 20% off coupons and that was a wrap. I’d finally made a purchase, and suddenly I started to feel productive and more like myself. It was hard work finding that damn pillow.
The other main category on my list was drain management items. After surgery, there will be 2-4 drains to collect any fluid that is created post surgery. These tube and collection bulbs sort of just hang around if your clothing doesn’t have inside pockets to hold the bulbs. Do you know how many $100 robes and $60 zippered jackets with inside pockets I found? (Enter snarky capitalism remark here) My thinking is that I want to be comfortable, and I will spend money for comfort. You can’t put a price tag on a good night’s rest, especially when you’re in pain. But I am not too proud to use safety pins to pin drains the old fashioned way. I don’t need every option for drain management I plan to add some pouches inside of some pjs, shirts and a new robe that I purchased for this part of my journey. (Update: Already did it! Not that hard either, Took no more than 5 minutes on each garment) I did purchase a generic fanny thingy that comes with something to help with the shower but other than, I’m gonna pass. And if I need something later, there is always Amazon or my momma who is a great seamstress!
As for the other stuff on this list, Siri hadn’t gotten back to me. And I just didn’t know what to buy. So, I decided to text LT (that’s my breast surgeon/new friend for any newcomers) to ask her for her opinion. Sure it was a Saturday, but I’m sure she wouldn’t mind. I mean .. she is the best, ok. A few hours later, I had a FULL list of items that she deemed necessary post-op! Now we’re talking! After reviewing her list, I realized that I’d done a pretty good job compiling those lists that I’d found on my own (minus a few items). Now it was time to execute!
The goal for the day was to get everything ordered online or picked up curbside. Amazon, Target, Old Navy, Bed Bath and Beyond, Walmart were my friends. I didn’t want to be bothered with chasing items the week before surgery. This is my last week to experience THIS version of normal. I can go for a swim in my pool. I can lie on my side and watch television. I can get down on the floor and play a game with Sydney. I can reach to the top of the cabinet and grab a shaker and some vodka to make a martini. I might even throw in a few burpees for good measure. (Ok, maybe I am taking it a little far. Everyone that knows me knows that I HATE burpees.) Sure I will be able to do these things again, but not next week, or the week after .. and quite possibly the week after that. So I plan to spend this week doing the things that will be restricted post-op. I’m going to go in my fridge and grab a gallon of milk and pour over a bowl of cereal. And after I’m finished, I will raise my hands way above my head and then pull them down back on my waist and strike a Wonder Woman pose.
Speaking of Wonder Woman, let me introduce you to LT. Now, y’all know that I am 5’2”, completely stretched. Look at this chic! All of that girl power packed into this little person! Funny thing is .. we both think we’re tall. Amazingly strong personalities will do that for you. 😉
When she came in she asked me if I had any questions .. aside from the 75 questions that I had texted her over the weekend. Of course I did! It wouldn’t be me if I didn't have more questions. But for my sanity, I needed her to run through the surgery one more time. Let’s get in there. I wanna talk procedure and risks. After 90 minutes of discussion, I walked away with some pretty interesting factoids ..
While I may not be happy with the extra pounds I am carrying around, breast surgeons and plastic surgeons actually like a little extra fat.
I have to report to the hospital at 5am. I’ll definitely need to set the alarm. I haven’t gotten up that early since I held office hours last year. (Wow! Last year)
I’ll have radioactive urine after surgery. Well, not really but I should not be concerned if my urine is blue. This is caused by the radioactive dye that she uses to locate my lymph nodes during surgery.
To avoid injury, I will need to walk around the house like T-Rex during the first few weeks of my recovery. (Envision elbows pinned to your side)
After the mastectomy, I will likely not regain sensation in the breast area. So. I’ll need to be sensitive to risk of injury. Don’t want to end of like Mrs. Doubtfire when her boobs caught on fire.
One week .. just one week left to enjoy the rest of this chapter of my life. I will have an intimate “Ta ta to the tatas” party before surgery. COVID really messed me up here. I can only imagine the huge party I’d thrown if it weren’t for social distancing requirements.
As always, I appreciate all of your prayers thus far in my journey. Please, keep them coming!. I have a few more hurdles to go..
♥️ T
