You just can't make this stuff up!
I’m baccckkkk! I had not realized how much I depend on being able to express my feelings on my blog until I was not able to.
On Tuesday, I received quite a few messages letting me know that my site was blank. I hadn’t realized because I’d last posted before I went into surgery on Thursday. So, I posted an update on social media letting some of you know because honestly.. I was quite surprised by the number of people that actually noticed that the site was down in the first place. Guess y’all do read my posts. lol. So I reached out to the platform’s tech support folks to get my site up asap. In addition to my original pretty(sic) village, the village has also recently expanded to some new folks as the site has been featured on a few other breast cancer support/awareness sites. Imagine reading a newsletter that was hyping up this dope site, and clicking on my link .. and NOTHING !?!? What kind of ratchet mess is that? So, finally, after a few days, the issue was resolved and I am able to talk to y’all again. But not before this happened …
Today I met another woman that has been diagnosed with breast cancer. What’s fascinating is how we connected. Check this out:
A few weeks ago, I was briefly checking the emails on my business phone. (Not for work since I am on disability leave! But sometimes, folks reach out to me there to see how I am doing.) I see this email from someone that I don’t know very well, but I thought his name and subject title was interesting so I opened it to see what he had to say. He and his family had moved to Texas in January after joining the company. His wife was recently diagnosed with breast cancer, and he was wondering if I would be willing to chat with them. Sure! It would be my pleasure, I responded. I didn’t think too hard about how he knew that I had Breast cancer. I had shared publicly, and he could have come across someone at work who mentioned it .. who knows. I gave him my number and told him to reach out to me there. Today, I received a text from him. They were nearing the start of treatment and wanted to know if I was available to chat. After chatting for an hour or so, some of the similarities were shocking:
They moved from Maryland to Texas
They have two children with a similar gap in age (maybe not as big)
She lost a friend in her 40’s to Breast Cancer last year
We both have a strong Christian faith
But what’s even more shocking is how she found me. Apparently, she had been searching on the internet for information about Breast Cancer, and she came across my site. She briefly read through the site and found a connection. She prayed for the woman that was sharing her journey, because she knew that she too would embark on a similar path in the near future. When she went back to her doctor, she asked them to recommend a few sites where she could educate herself. She received the typical sites .. cancer.org and NCCN. And one not so typical site … www.prettysic.com. Shocked that she had already found my site on her own, she started reading from the very first post. She was again shocked once she realized that her husband and I work for the same company. When she told him this, he was initially hesitant to reach out to me because there are many people that work for our company. After a little research, he discovered that I was based on the same campus, so he decided to send me an email, hoping that it would get a response quicker than a random email on my blog. (By the way, I respond to all emails 😊) And here we are today.
Almost immediately after our chat, I received an update that my site was live, and I was able to blog again. The timing was impeccable. I couldn’t wait to share this story with you guys.
You just can’t make this stuff up. We both hail from Maryland. We connected through a blog that I feel I am truly purposed to share my journey on. We share some of the doctors. And her husband and I work for the same company. And we’d probably never met, had it not been for our parallel journeys.
In the beginning, people asked .. “are you sure you should put your employer out there?” Yes, I’m sure .. by the way, you can google Tova Parker and you’ll quickly discover that I work for ExxonMobil from the newspaper posts from my last project. Had I not shared my place of employment, this woman may not have reached out to me. Then, there was .. “are you sure you want to share your personal medical trials.” Yes, I am sure. While it may seem like I share a lot (because I do), it’s intentional. Transparency is the key, no one wants to follow someone that is not being authentic. I have nothing to hide. I am not at all embarrassed about my journey. And I’m hopeful that my journey is helpful for women that have to tread a similar path. All women, but especially women that look like me. Do you know how hard it is to find personal perspectives from minority women? It’s almost non-existent. And some may not think this is important because pain is universal, right? Because it doesn’t matter what color you are. Well, let me give you one example of why everything about breast cancer is not universal. HAIR. I searched and searched and searched for photos of what my hair might look like after chemo. I couldn’t find one black woman that had shared the impact of chemo on her hair and growth. Every medical article and personal photo that I found was written from the perspective of a woman with non-coarse hair. It was not helpful for me. As in all cases, representation matters.
So, yes, my original intent was to share my feelings and then to share my journey with my village. But more often, I am astounded by the number of women that actually reach out to me because they feel connected in my some way. There are NO mistakes or coincidences in this world. Everything happens as it should be, and according to a greater plan. One is mistaken if she thinks that she is solely responsible for her place in this world.
Live purposefully,
♥️ T
